Saturday, January 15, 2011

What it takes to hope

I hold my breath and I close my eyes,
Struggling to hold on to this blissful feeling
And stay true to my heart’s wishes,
But all my attempts flail under the heavy hand of reality

Against the glare of civilization I am left bare and vulnerable
Denied the solace to dream
I am urged into the gray barrenness of indifference,
And sunk under the insistence of self-discipline

Threatened to be uncovered and branded as unacceptable,
I withdraw into myself
Not for comfort nor relief,
But because I find no welcome anywhere else,

Afraid to want, I step back
Afraid to become a slave to my desires, I refrain from voicing them
Afraid to be shackled by the obsession of my yearnings, I’m ruled by guilt for owning them
Afraid to reach beyond the surface, my will grows frail with obedience...

But in the furthest recesses of my heart,
Omitted from society’s oppressing pessimism
A flicker of hope rises with unexpected force
Enlightening my adventurous soul against the tide of reason,

The rich exotic taste of hope instantly lights the suffocating darkness,
consuming the brutal emptiness that threatened to envelop me
Until I feel my breath catch
And my heart skip with untamable joy,

with a vengeful rush, my blood surges
my body resurrects with the gift of existence
through a drowning fracture of sensation I am abruptly freed from a nation’s parameters,
and given the chance to experience, to desire, to dream

I feel myself grow stronger with the power of belief
A shaky smile graces my lips,
as I’m revived by the fire of life
Touched, I come awake from the treacherous grip of submission

I breathe and laugh aloud
and feel my heart soar so high I will never know another heavenly moment like it
lifted from the clawing shadows of self-doubt and fear,
I fly without remorse, with the strength to carry on in my freedom to hope

By: V.S

1 comment:

  1. I love this poem. The imagery is powerful and haunting, beautiful and uplifting. I really feel your words here darling.